My Thatha!

Indian culture is known for respecting our parents(elders) and taking care of them unlike western culture or is it really???

We compare our caring to the west and complain about how kids abandon their parents and send them over to old age homes to be taken care of by someone else. Are we any better in taking care of our own parents? I see striking examples in my own vicinity. One of my friend decided to move back to India for the reason of looking after his parents along with other reasons but that was one of them if I remember properly. In fact he thinks twice now to take a traveling job because he worries who will take care of them while he is away.... such a loving, caring son he is!

Then I have someone in my own family (my doddamma) who is probably fed up looking after my grandfather that they start worrying about Rs. 800 spent on an MRI when they are making Lacs... doddamma has two siblings who are worried of opening their mouth to voice their opinion because they haven't taken the responsibility of taking care of their father (not because they couldn't but because of where they ended up after marriage).... now do kids lose value, interest in parents if they keep seeing them day in day out?? is that even acceptable??

My grand father has been having issues with his health off late (he is 94 btw).... and up until now he has not even needed glasses. He even had his own house in which he lived in a small room renting the remaining part of the house but was forced by my doddamma and family to sell it and come and stay with them so that they could look after him - this decision he regrets every day now. His eyesight has reduced otherwise he was regularly going on his evening walks, attending musical concerts. He's not a big fuss at home either. All he keeps complaining these days is about his body that he says he feels swaying.. now my doddamma is a doc and owns a hospital. Why is it difficult to get the best treatment for your own father???? agreed my doddappa is not all that well either because of which my doddamma might be under stress and tension these days - but that is NO reason to treat your own father in that way... meanwhile her own FIL got royal treatment in his old days, a drive to the park, a walk, medicines on time, food on time and so on...

All my grand father is asking for some basic things in life... and this is what he gets!!! I spoke to my cousin who mentioned he might be having a nerve condition which might need a look from a Neurologist - I mentioned this to my doddamma after which they considered doing it and found out my grand father was not receiving enough blood flow to the brain (old age problems).... and now has been put on medication..

Now for this purpose why should one keep their parents at home? I think the western concept of making arrangements for their stay at an old age is much better where they meet people of their own age and spend their last days smiling! and at least they visit them at their new place every once in a while....

I have been very upset with all this from last night and wanted to vent it out... I have always seen my grand father smiling - such a jovial person, such a gem who has brought up his three daughters in such tough times who are all well settled and now during his last days - this is the treatment he gets!!! It stings me.... the more I think about it tears trickle down my eyes...

For the time being I have told my mom to discuss with my doddamma about this and see what better things can be done.... but it hurts.... it really hurts.... i hate seeing someone whom I love leave this world without a smile..........

Shoulder story continues..

So the hurray was partially premature...

Met with the doctor last week... had little good news and a lot of complicated words thrown at me... He said.. some of what I had done to my shoulder was acquired and some was congenital condition. Apparently the way my muscle development has taken place itself was amusing to him.. providing laxity (ability to move beyond normal) to me... there was some abrasion of bicep muscles which was induced by my working out / playing habbits but there were several other issues that he found but did not fix since it was "Natural" and he said.. he doesn't work on fixing what nature has created... well that and because of my age (he referred to as young) that things might heal in the course of time..

So he put two stitches in front and one at back of my shoulder tightening the shoulder ONLY... and said in 3-4 months I should be back to normal BUT.........

I would have to cut down on my playing because it was not a 100% solved problem.... he said if I had to get back to playing rigorous game that badly, I would have to wear a brace on my shoulder that would prevent my shoulder from going beyond what it should...

Oh well.. at this point I am like - if I am able to work out, stretch and do my routine chores without much trouble, I am fine with it.. and may be an occasional game of tennis... of course I will play at least ONE match with my beloved friend ;-).... and may be more .,.. all depends on how I recover..

anyways.. that was the jist of what i got from my conv. with my doctor... for the time being for the next 5 weeks I am on Physical Therapy to start regaining strength !!!

Hurray Hurray is what my right shoulder's saying!

:-)

So finally Thursday May 07, 2009.. was the big day.... that was when my right shoulder was operated on... I was awfully cool until and after the surgery from what my colleagues at work described + the docs and nurses at the hospital... actually i can confirm that since they kept checking my BP every once in a while and it was never super high.... I had requested for a later in the day operation so my roomie wouldn't have to take off but the doc had other plans - to finish of mine very first thing in the morning.. well he thought it was going to be simple... but i guess not... the operation went on prob for 2.5 hours and as usual i was knocked out for a bit longer on anasthesia after that... so i was in by 7 and out by 1 I guess... my right hand was numb for almost 12 hours after the surgery... slowly it started getting back its senses..

what should have been just 2 incisions on my shoulder ended up being 5... oops!! i guess thats the intensity with which i had messed up my shoulder... i faintly remember the doc showing me pics and saying i had messed up my bicep muscles too and he had to fix them too... oh well.. if i messed up, i better mess up big time rt!! and thats what i did... messed it up playing volleyball.. followed it with extreme weights... then back to playing... add to that no protein or mass... there you go.. perfect disaster recipe..

So finally here i am struggling to type with both hands.. although recovering pretty fast from my standards.. just experiencing pain at night.. am off for the day and hopefully get back to work from tomorrow.. getting used to do everything using my left hand... its actually not all that bad.. i improvise quickly... so now have 4 months to go before my arm regains most of its strength if not all..

but the verdict remains.... will know on thursday when i meet with the doc to know what exactly he did and what i did to my arm and what i can and cannot do..... tensed......

was the hurray too premature ?? we will see..